Forced Gay or Forced Fun? Part II:

So hanging out with the nice guy was everything I thought it would be. Ugh!

If I had to describe how it went, I’d have to say that I felt like I was sitting across from my senile grandma and she was trying painfully hard to not come off  as desperate to fuck me.

To all of you nice guys reading this, yeah, it’s THAT obvious!  There is no amount of  kickass restaurant selection that will ever MASK the smell of being THAT guy from 500 Days of Summer.

Moving right along…

The waiter came to take our drink orders. Before he’d even introduced himself, d-bag extraordinaire  whips  out his i.d. and practically shoves it into the poor guys face while saying that he wanted a bloody mary. Two. Plus a glass of water. Sighhhh, just like my granny!

He rambled about being frustrated over probably having to show i.d   until he was at least 27.   I guess 22 really is the biggest birthday after 5. I half expected him to pull down his pants and show off his spongebob underoos. Seriously?  Who thinks that a guy making  something like $2/hr wants to hear about your lame first world problems?

Fighting the urge to ask for a glass of bleach with lemon, I just ordered green tea then  secretly set the fake call app on my phone to off at 30 min.  Rule #1 for forced gay traps:

The set up should always be as painless as possible.

Of course I’m talking about for Me!  There was no way I was going to waste  any longer than thirty minutes in public with him if it didn’t  at least end up with him  jacking off our waiter. I figured he owed the guy that much for raping him with small talk.  Unfortunately, it was way too soon for anything like that to happen in a way that I would enjoy. I like for a straight guy to end up with a mouth full of cock in the most organic way possible. It has be natural.

If he isn’t confused and a little tortured by how much he wanted it to happen and how much he wants it again, what’s the point?  I like for the nice guys I play with to really feel it.  Feel it in a way that makes them afraid to even touch their cocks because they know the second they do, the only thought that makes them cum hard enough is having another man blast a hot one down their throat.

Nice guys should feel it hard enough, deep enough and often enough that they  call their mothers in the middle of the night crying  to confess what they’ve done.   Nice guys always return to mommy.  See what I mean by natural?

The rest of the “date”, I did all of the talking.  I refused to let him say much more than a yes or no.  I did it for his own good!

You have to preserve that bubble nice guys  live in.  The one where their needs have to be squashed in order for them to feel they have value.  If you ever allow them to recognize that they are people with feelings that should be acknowledged, they’ll implode.  It’s like pulling the wings off of a fly! So mean!

Girls with options don’t like nice guys. We like men. Much more on the differences later.

We DEFINITELY don’t  want a nice guy that insists on being treated with respect!  Why do you think they froth at the mouth over girls like my friend “Jodi”?  They’re essentially the same person!  Damaged girls and nice guys need to just get together and form one fucked up mega-gender. It would make it a lot  easier for the rest of us.

The thing is, eventually even girls like Jodi burst the nice guy bubble and make them feel like something they aren’t(strong,confident,masculine).  Then when  a Jodi finds the real thing(that she can’t ever keep past the second random hookup), the nice guy is unable to ever find that bubble again on his own.  He’s left with a lifetime of  finding a not-so gently used  replacements. It’s usually a much older version of Jodi who introduces him to fun stuff like meth and restraining orders. Basically a mother that  he can fuck  that makes him feel almost as useless as his own self-created bubble used to.

I just want to keep him in the bubble and only take him out for fun when it feels natural to him!  Nice guys reading this: Which is kinder?  Which would you want for yourself? Thought so!

As soon as my  fake call came through, I told him about my fake family emergency, gave the waiter a huge tip along with my number,  then left in my own car.  I always drive on dates with losers. For one, their vehicles are usually disgusting date rape traps. I never put myself in the position of having to sit in the passenger seat of a nice guy’s car. It just confuses them.

Fifteen  minutes later he texted to  ask if everything was ok.  I didn’t respond. I’ve gotten a total of 10 calls, 9 voicemails and 15 texts from him since Friday. It’s Tuesday afternoon now.  The waiter sent me a text asking if we could FB stalk each other.  Nothing more than that.  See the difference between men and nice guys? This is going to be a fun week!

 

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